Today's Top Story

Bride's och aye, the poo!

Overheard in the Holler

After awakening to a ghastly tableau yesterday morning ...

Dan: I can't believe such a little dog could contain so much shit.

Overheard by: J. Robert Poopenheimer

Source, via HoHo

Conn. Job

A cheerful report from the irrepressible Kay:

Imagine my excitement as I was strolling down the street in New Canaan going to CVS to get prescription for a lovely case of pink eye - goopy, stuck together eyelashes and general itch - and I saw four young Mormon missionaries doing their thing in front of Starbucks. Not exactly a likely spot for them since people who are at Starbucks are hardly likely to give up caffeine and wear funny underwear. I just saw the Book of Mormon - the South Park guys musical about young missionaries in Uganda - so I was primed and ready to be approached. I told them of my excitement at seeing the temple in NY before it was sealed to non-believers, my love of Big Love and all the crazy extremist polygamists who run away and write books about their horrific experiences and my fascination with the concept of sister wives. After I finished with my love of Mormon funeral potatoes and the concept of holy garments they were backing away in horror and looking for another target to convert. I then went into Starbucks, got a venti and lit up a cigarette and watched them approach others. And by the time that fun was over my prescription was ready. A perfect morning.

Slap Happy

We No Speak Americano ft. Cleary & Harding from Up & Over It.

Thanks to Peggy and Riley.

Word of the Day

scobberlotcher

Caveat Empty

22 of the world's most absurd warnings and disclaimers

The 10 most ridiculous public service announcements
ever put on a billboard

'Quick, It's Time to Change!'

Randall, it seems, has many pots on the stove ...

Just Kidding

A recent Facebook thread began with this post:

My friend, writing about his son: "Yesterday he went tearing through the women's undergarment section of Target shouting 'boobies!'"

Among the responses:

True story: a couple weeks ago some friends brought over their sweet autistic kid after her First Communion for a pool party. [When] I took off my shirt the little girl looked directly at my chest and screamed "boobies". One can only smile and dive into the pool immediately.

[Our daughter] always yells "look at all the boobs" at any store there is a bra display. The bad parents we are think this is quite hilarious and make no effort to correct her. We just laugh.

I remember being a little kid in a store, and asking my mother like ten thousand times what the red rubber thing was. She finally said, "It's a douchebag. Now you know everything."

If only that had been the last douche bag you had ever met.

My son had a world class temper tantrum in Target when I wouldn't buy him the Hello Kitty handbag.

When I went shopping with my mom I would pinch all the bras and shout "Honk!"

I once went to visit our nanny when she babysat for another family. Their daughter, age two, ran up and presented me with a photo of her slightly overweight father in a bathing suit. She pointed at his chest in the photo and yelled "Daddy's boobies!"

A Touching Parable

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