Source, by way of Mary

Skunk & White

hebetude
[HEB-uh-tood]

noun. Mental dullness or sluggishness.

Had she been elected, Sarah Palin’s hebetude would have made Bush look like a fucking Rhodes scholar.

How could this delicious site be around for nearly two years without my knowledge? There's even a book: The Elements of F*cking Style.

From Peggy.

'It's Magical'

"This fruit helps prove that animals are just like us."

The latest from Randall.

Blame Greg Louganis

A friend recently shared a revelation by her 12-year-old son:

[He] just realized today that the back somersault performed off the diving board at the pool by the older boys is called a "gainer," not a "gay nerd." "I wondered why they called it that," he said.

(I have been prohibited from posting this on Facebook, but I had to tell someone.)

Sour Note

Today's Top Story

Sexy Times

From a friend:

Today, my parents were over when my wonderful nanny, who is from the Philippines, came to watch my son. My nanny began exclaiming over how cute my son D is, saying, "If I had a baby, he'd look just like D!"

My mother then said, "Well, why not? If Arnold Schwarzenegger's nanny can have one, then you should be able to, too."

My nanny and I froze as we realized my mother was encouraging my nanny to have sex with my husband. My mother emitted a loud shriek-cackle. I quickly changed the subject.

Later she added:

The funny thing is, my nanny uses the term "sexy" a lot, in an innocuous way. Like, when D is running around naked, she'll yell, "Oh, sexy butt!" Recently she told [my husband] he looked so "slim and sexy!" She kept talking about it, repeating that [he] looked sexy. He finally ran upstairs and whispered, "I'm being sexually harassed by our babysitter."

I don't think I'll tell him about this.

What's Happening!!

Explain This Image

From Roman.

The Late Show

Recent favorites from Sleep Talkin' Man:

"I'm no doctor, but I swear it's bacterial vaginosis. Your crotch smells like onion soup. Next, please!"

"This is a totally sparkly tiara moment!"

"I'm not waving at you. I'm just building up for the big fucking slap you're gonna get."

"History is exciting! There's sex and explosions."

"So, you want a super massivo decaf low-fat stupido motherfuck cappu-fucking-ccino? Okay. Coming right up, cunt."

"I would gargle contents of the arseholes of the recently dead than go out with you. It's not a hard choice really."

"No, life isn't unfair. You were just born stupid."

"Who do you think you are, coming in here with your pink blancmange. You and your classy ways."

"I speak the truth. I am the superhero of words. Sentences are my weapons. I'll fuck you up with my oral armor."

"I'm bored. Let's go and trip some old people."

Tuna Surprise

Remember this guy? He's at it again:




No condoments?