Lazy Boy

I've been on disability for 10 years this month, which means I've been retired for longer than I worked.

Who'd have predicted that? Not I. Certainly not my insurance company, which periodically asks me to prove that I'm still disabled, a request that would be hilarious if it weren't so annoying. So far I've resisted the urge to point out that if I'd recovered from ALS, they'd have heard about it on the news.

A couple of times, friends have expressed some variation of I can't believe you're still here. I'm sure their meaning isn't dark (is it?), but one day I'm going to say what I really want to: "I'm dying as fast as I can, motherfucker."