Check, Please

One of the few perks of being an Amyotrophic American - besides the primo parking - is that I don't have to pay income tax or even file a return. My gubmint cheese and its private counterpart are nontaxable, and the interest on my "savings" is well below the threshold.

I was therefore surprised when Dan suggested I apply for a stimulus payment: "How can I get back money I didn't pay?" But he double-checked the criteria, we sent off a brief form, and hell if I didn't get a check last month.

Mine went straight into the bank - sorry, Dubya - but other people had specific plans for theirs.