Wednesday, October 31, 2007
On the way home, I stopped at the local bodega to get a copy of the latest Playgirl, having heard that a guy from Arlington was featured in a spread on sexy firemen. (I was not disappointed.)
The middle-aged Korean clerk seemed slightly flustered and offered me a paper bag. "That's very kind," I replied, "but I'm already wearing a dress and carrying a pocketbook, so I don't really care."
My roommate was mortified.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Peter was born premature, suffered several early hospitalizations and surgical operations, and at 2 months of age was removed from his mother's care by Social Services for neglect and abandonment. When feeling endangered, Peter had developed a defensive olfactive container using his bodily smell and farts to envelop himself in a protective cloud of familiarity against the dread of falling apart, and to hold his personality together.And some people say science is dry.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Dirk Van Dongen
(Ms.) E. Lovely Houston
Jock Stirrup (British military chief)
Sue Strong Keener (sister: Lynne Strong Agree)
R. Beecher "Rufus" Butts
(Master) Ikea Barbour
(Mr.) Linear T. Jefferson
Sgt. Pride Rivers
Prof. Harsh Pant
Vaster Q. Bridgewater
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Now the fruit of some students' labors is on display. Unfortunately, Sir Sean's fruit is coyly concealed.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Dickie, as he's known to his handful of friends, acquired a mean streak at an early age, according to his now-deceased sister, Cordelia Scaife. (She once told The Washington Post that she and her brother hadn't spoken for 25 years.) His trouble with alcohol started when he was at prep school, and he later was tossed out of Yale when he rolled a keg of beer down a flight of stairs and broke the legs of a fellow student. His father, a below-average businessman, died a year after Richard graduated from the University of Pittsburgh. His mother was "just a gutter drunk," as Cordelia put it.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Now there's this, sure to become a sine qua non in red-state décor.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Those new retro Mustangs. Why not just wear a T-shirt reading: "I'm having a midlife crisis and want to relive my youth, but I can't be bothered to buy the real thing, so I'll settle for this fake one." That would be a lot cheaper and no more transparent. Logically, New Beetles should bother me just as much, but for some reason they don't. Maybe 'cause they're cute.
Ken Burns's hair. Surely the guy can afford a salon cut, so what gives? Did he have a traumatic barbershop experience that left him emotionally unable to move beyond his childhood coif? It's a curious blind spot for someone who's made his reputation on visual impressions.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
“When we lived together in Chalk Farm she had a room at the top of the house. We got broken into and the police said,French and Saunders look back.
'Well, it is quite bad, but the worst is that room at the top.' And, of course, nobody had been in there. She used to be up to her knees in old pants. Something changed when she had the kids. She got organised. Now she can’t stop sweeping.”
"I really appreciate the Lancaster Chamber of Commerce for giving me an opportunity to explain why I have made some of the decisions I have made. My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions. And it's important for me to have an opportunity to speak to you and others who would be listening about the basis on which I have made decisions, to explain the philosophy behind some of the decisions I have made."
George W. Bush, a.k.a. "The Decider"
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
If anything I've posted has made you laugh -- even in a sad, hopeless, or demented way -- please consider sponsoring me for the Walk to D'Feet ALS. It's a great cause that's near and dear to me for obvious reasons, and it's the only annual occasion when I beg. (Unless you count attention, which I seek incessantly.)
Many of you have already given generously, for which I'm profoundly thankful. The rest of you can find your way into the warm embrace of my gratitude by clicking here.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
The gold standard of dubious laborsaving devices is the Clapper, from Joseph Enterprises.... This fall, the company is launching the Clapper Plus. With its wireless remote, the new Clapper is a Clapper for people who can't even be bothered to clap. In its review of the product, even the technophilic Web site Gizmodo.com was moved to remark, "WTF?"
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
It's like some sort of drug, something warm and happy and dangerous and visceral they inject into the lighting system or mist all over the carefully constructed mountains of pornographic produce or slather all over the nearly religious seafood and meat departments because, oh my sweet Jesus with a Le Creuset ramekin and 10 pounds of artisanal Gruyere, there really is something frighteningly addictive about the glorious hellbeast grocerypalooza known as Whole Foods.
Mark Morford ponders the company's influence on business and culture.