Bless Their Hearts

We used to play [basketball] in these small towns; the guards were almost invariably named after flowers — there would be Lily, Rose, and Violet. The forwards were always jewels — Ruby, Pearl, and Opal. But it was east Texas, so everybody had two names, you know, like Ruby Jo, or Pearl Ann. And they always wore pink plastic curlers in their hair during the games so they’d look good at the dance afterwards. Meanest women I ever met.

This 1993 speech, delivered at Smith College by Molly Ivins (Class of '66), is among her best work.