Short Stories

Some of my favorite texts from last night:

(781): You can't wash away shame.
(1-781): I can try.

(850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

(630): her vagine was all disorganized.

(218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

(312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

(617): I cannot find my penis.

(505): You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
(720): Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days

(803): Operation extremely regretful is in full effect

(458): I just saw the asian versions of us.

(212): Eating poptart. Fell down metro. Beautiful sunrise.

(707): I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.