Gerald began -- but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash -- to pee.
This could mean only one thing: The winning entries in this year's Bulwer-Lytton Contest have been announced.
An Indian worker prepares clay to make idols representing Hindu goddess Durga at a workshop in Kumartoli, a village of idol artists in Kolkata, India, on July 22. Idols of Durga, representing the infinite power of the universe, are worshipped by Indian Hindu devotees during the Durga Puja festival in October.
A sign rises out of the floodwater and provides a handy resting place for empty milk bottles being collected by milkman Bill Turner at Old Windsor, Buckinghamshire. (Fox Photos/Getty Images, 1954)
(Click to enlarge.)
"We're all made out of the same old dirt. Every one of us. There's no one better than the other. That is my philosophy of life. I never forget where I came from."
"[In my purse] ... I've got BreathSavers. Gum. Vitamins. Lipstick. Combs. Keys. Old Kleenex. And a Pizza Hut voucher, medium, any way you want it. I got two Allerest. And I've got three cookies."Despite his recent conversion to history, the president probably still believes, deep down, as do many of his admirers, that the righteous, religious vision he brings to geopolitics is a source of strength — almost as if the less he knows about the issues the better and the truer his decision-making will be....
Those who know history best tend to be tempered by it. They rarely refer to it so sweepingly and with such complete confidence.... Its most important lessons sometimes come cloaked in bitter irony. By no means does it march in a straight line toward the desired result, and the good guys do not always win....
Peach-coloured toilet roll to match her complexion, and rose petals in the toilet bowl. One hundred-and-twenty designer bathroom towels also in peach. Ten highly specified designer floor lamps....
Her list of demands ever since is as varied as it is lengthy. She once demanded staff at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas enter and leave her room backwards (she justified this with the response: "I'm simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful and driven")....
Edge Designs is an all-women-run company that designs interior office space. They had a recent opportunity to do an office project in NYC.
The client allowed the women of this company a free hand in all design aspects. The client was a company that was also run by all women execs.
The result -- well, we all know that men never talk, never look at each other, and never laugh much in the restroom. The men’s room is a serious and quiet place. But now, with the addition of one mural on the wall, let's just say the men’s restroom is a place of laughter and smiles.
From a distance, her hair looked white, but now I could see that it was streaked with yellow, almost randomly, like snow that had been peed on. If she seemed somewhat mannish, it was the fault of her clothing rather than her features. Both her jacket and her blouse were kitted out with shoulder pads, and when they were worn together she could barely fit through the door. This might be a problem for others, but Rosemary didn’t get out much.
The world's tallest man shakes hands with the man hoping to be
My new bathroom, if it ever gets built, will have a fancy commode. Not because I love gadgets (I do as a rule, although high-tech turlets creep me out a little), but because I'll take whatever measures I can in the futile fight for dignity. For years I've been dreading the need for ass-wiping assistance; now I'm thinking a Toto could wash away that fear. (Sorry.)Dear Miss Manners:
What is the proper way to inform someone they have a spider in their hair?
At an open house at my place of business to celebrate our 20th anniversary, one of our clients had a spider in her hair. This client is an older woman, not in the best of health. No one was sure how to broach the subject, since we didn't want to overtly startle her or embarrass her.
What should we have done?
So what did you do? Stare into her hair, waiting to see if the spider would spin her a hairnet?
Oh, yes, you did. Miss Manners admires your fortitude in not screaming "Eeeek!" or plunging your hands into the lady's hair unannounced. But leaving her with a resident spider was not a happy solution.
What you should have done was to say quietly, "I think I see something that has fallen into your hair. May I get it out for you, or would you prefer to go and take care of it?"
A teacher at a London school keeps a record of his pupils' height and weight. The school for ailing boys is running an experiment to prove that boys who have gained in weight and height perform better in the classroom, 1936.
Jeanne Moreau
After
Rusty, who worked ... in a time well before the phrase
"working mother" had entered the language, hated old people, Dr. Phil, stupidity and organized religion -- not necessarily in that order.
She loved dogs, debate and the riches of the English language....
She was a hoot and a character and a bit of a crank, but she was usually right and always passionate....
You have to laugh. You have to laugh because if you do not laugh you will likely be overcome by a mad desire to stab yourself in the eye with a sharp feral cat and/or shoot yourself in the toe with a high-powered staple gun, over and over again, all while tearing out pages of the United States Constitution and crumpling them into tiny little balls and hurling them into the smoldering firepit of who-the-hell-cares as you shiver in the corner and swig from a bottle of Knob Creek and wail at the moon. Or maybe that's just me.That's Mark Morford, of course, trying to put the Libby case into perspective.
Count Gottfried von Bismarck, a decadent German aristocrat with a colorful history as a reckless heroin addict, outrageous lush, carefree dandy and debauched host of gay sex parties, was found dead Monday in his London home....I can't wait for The Times' obit.
Often replete with fishnets, lederhosen, lipstick and top hats, his shindigs have twice ended in death....
Ann Coulter as an Amsterdam sex worker.
(Apologies to all Amsterdam sex workers.)
WANTED: Caregiver to bathe, dress & feed ugly lifesize dollbaby. Low pay, no benefits, flex. hrs. Must like dogs & be pleasant w/good hygiene. Male model type a +. No homophobes or proselytizers need apply.
Last week UNESCO announced the latest additions to its list of World Heritage Sites, and BBC News responded with one of its great little slide shows.
CAPRICORN: You're daring and funny. But don't be irreverent about things that are sacred to other people. On second thought, that you're willing to ''go there'' might be what makes you funny. Just be careful.
Original caption from 1957: By day, Evelyn Clegg is employed as a civil servant in Whitehall, but she spends her evenings and weekends working at a dairy farm. She was chosen to be Britain's Milk Maid Queen by the Milk Marketing Board.
Seventeen-year-old Bianca Passarge of Hamburg dresses up as a cat, complete with furry tail, and dances on wine bottles, June 1958. Her performance was based on a dream, and she practiced for eight hours every day in order to perfect her dance. (Carlo Polito/BIPs/Getty Images)
