Key Moments in Child Development

When I think of some of the stupid things I did growing up, it’s a wonder I made it to adulthood. Jumping from high places, exploring storm sewers, playing on construction sites, running wood scraps through the table saw …

I had an extensive key collection, and one day when I was quite young I decided to play keymaker. Lacking the hardware store’s machine, I scanned my room for a substitute, eventually settling on the electrical outlet next to my desk. It didn’t look much like a key cutter, but the slots were perfect.

As I remember, I plied my new trade several times before the inevitable occurred. When it finally did, the shock was as much mental as physical. Here I was, just trying to do my job, when I was savagely attacked by an invisible assailant. What the hell?

I went running to my mother, forgetting momentarily that she wasn’t the coddling type. When she got the details out of me, she said, “Well, what did you expect?”