Sunday, April 29, 2007

God's House Has Many Names

I'm mildly intrigued by nonmainstream churches. The ones you glimpse out the car window as you pass through depressed downtowns and hopeless exurbs on your way to somewhere else. They tend to occupy storefronts in the former and shedlike industrial structures in the latter. Sometimes they don't have windows, which gives me the willies. The only thing they have in common is that their signs never contain the word Catholic or Presbyterian or any other familiar denomination. (Occasionally they're Baptist, but never of the garden variety.)

Who worships there, I wonder, and how can so many stay in business, especially without a central organization?

But my primary question, I confess, is a shallower one: Who names them? Six-year-olds? The clinically insane? Peyote-puffing parishioners? A lot of them just have too many words, often redundant, and some sound a bit like banks or dry cleaners.

One day, as I scanned the obits for unusual names, I began doing the same for houses of worship:

Seek and Save Baptist Church
Because He Lives Ministries
United House of Prayer for All People
Holy Christian Missionary Baptist Church for All People
Solid Rock Full Gospel Baptist Church
Touch of Love Bible Church
Jericho City of Praise
Newness of Life Bible Church
Faith Tabernacle United Holiness Church
Mission Temple Holiness Church
Integrity Church International
Free Gospel Deliverance Temple
New Rock Church of Fire
New Southern Rock Baptist Church
Beyond the Veil Worship Center
House of Prayer Church of God #1
From the Heart Church Ministries
First Church of Holiness
Church of the Great Commission
The Master's Touch Praise Ministries
Cornerstone Peaceful Bible Baptist Church
New Beginning Way of the Cross
Theocracy International Christian Center
Abundant Life United Holy Church
God's Universal Kingdom
Alive Gathering Ministries
Tried Stone Fire Baptized Holiness Church
Greater Triedstone Baptist Church
Shining Star Freewill Baptist Church
Truth, Righteousness and Love Ministries
Refuge Temple Church
Sword of the Spirit
New Homes Baptist Church
Edified Christian Ministries International
New Mt. Carmel Free Will Baptist Church
Rising Star Holy Temple Church
Solomon's Temple Holiness Church
First National Deliverance Center
New Born Church of God and True Holiness Church
Holy Temple Cathedral

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

His Master's Touch makes me think of the RCA dog Nipper who wanted to hear his Masters voice. Creepy, I have never ever seen anyone go into one of the storefront churches maybe they are for money laundering?

care said...

Isn't THE MASTER'S TOUCH PRAISE MINISTRIES a catholic church?