Positioning Missionaries

Young Mormons get ready to spread the Word.

In many parts of the world, a Mormon missionary is the only American the locals will ever meet; the clean-cut, idealistic young face of our nation. With foreign-language fluency and the perpetually sunny demeanor of the true believer, they’re incredibly successful at winning converts.

My favorite passages:

Because they prohibit birth control, Mormons have apparently developed a remarkable tolerance for screaming babies.

Mormon families are instructed to stock up on canned goods and wheat to prepare for Armageddon. The Church itself stores 19 million pounds of wheat in a Salt Lake City grain silo.