I recently saw a urologist for the first time in my life. My internist's an old friend, and he passed along the dick doc's report because some of the comments just had to be shared. To wit:
Mr. Jack is a 42-year-old man.
God, I am, aren't I. How in the hell did that happen?
His brother brings him in today.
Say what, now? If Dan is my brother, what we're doing is very, very wrong. But we've heard it enough times that we're beginning to wonder just what sort of vibe we give off.
He is in a wheelchair, but he has good cognition.
Go figure.
Physical exam shows a well groomed, well dressed gentleman in no distress.
I should note that my hair was its usual frizzy mess, and I was wearing drab nylon pants, brown fuzzy Crocs, and a shapeless oatmeal sweater I acquired 22 years ago as a Benetton vendeuse.
Alert and oriented times three.
Why, thank you. Not bad for someone in a wheelchair.
Neck is supple.
I don't know whether to blush or whinny.
I did not do a genitalia or rectal examination.
This was a great pity, at least from my perspective. For he was a hottie: a younger, leaner, furrier George Clooney, with a personality to match. He could have poked and prodded me all day. And my brother would've let him.
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6 comments:
I'm only 41. Ha, ha.
How supple is thy neck, smug one?
I won't tell you what he said about my abdomen.
You know what they say. "Incest is best."
"Fun for the whole family."
"Does he understand what I am saying," said the doctor to your brother.
LOL! I love the things doctors say- especially that 'in a wheelchair but good cognition.' My personal favorite is "the patient is an obese but pleasant female." As in, she's a fatty but shockingly enough she's still happy and polite to people.
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