Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Lookin' Sharp

Some truisms truly are true. Like "you get what you pay for" -- when it comes to coiffeur, anyway.

The transition from working girl to welfare queen forced many changes for me. Salon haircuts were one of the first casualties of my austerity budget, and it's been quite a comedown. The chic little storefront has been supplanted by a suburban strip mall, designer robes by tatty nylon smocks, hushed elegance by cacophonous din. "Would you like some herbal tea?" has given way to "NEXT!"

Yesterday I went to the beauty parlor for my monthly rinse-and-set (actually the $14 basic coif at the local Hair Cuttery). I must have been distracted by the cascade of clippings, which at this point seem more salt than pepper, because the result looked OK when I was prompted to give a nod of approval.

An hour later, when I glanced in a mirror at home, there was no denying the ugly truth. I'd been given the Hair Butchery special: the little-retarded-boy cut. Not the dreaded salad-bowl 'do, but the one where the hair is cut in a straight line over the forehead. The kind of haircut your mother might give you in the kitchen, only my mom was never that cheap or that mean.

I like to say that vanity is the first casualty of ALS, but I must have a little left or I wouldn't be burning with shame today. I'm tempted to grab a pair of scissors and go at these bangs myself. With my shaky hands, I'd probably lose an eye, but at least then I wouldn't have to avoid mirrors.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've found that a carfully placed turban does WONDERS to cover any mistakes when I come home in horror from the local "Curl-Up and Dye"

Anonymous said...

will we be seeing this new 'do at the walk on sunday? don't fix it! don't fix it!!

Anonymous said...

Not like going to see George at his lovely salon? I am sure it is just fine and if not hair at least grows! I am sure you look lovely!

Anonymous said...

Michael have you considered the "Big Daddy-'do". Next time you visit I'll shave your head for less than $14!

Anonymous said...

Bob is a good name for an aspiring hairdresser. So is Pageboy.