Noteworthy Names

This feature has been dealt a setback by the crash of my primary computer, followed a couple of days later by its backup. All files were lost in the tragedy.

Like Gloria Gaynor and countless other sisters, I will survive. As I salvage the few grimy shards I can and find my way forward through the wispy spirals of smoke, I offer you this. It's a catalogue of celebrity progeny who will grow to resent their parents deeply -- if they don't already -- for their highly unorthodox name choices. Fortunately, there's plenty of money for therapy.