Monday, September 10, 2007

Freaks and Geeks

Whenever my friend Marty babysits, the TV seems to get stuck on TLC's medical-oddity programs.

I don't know when he acquired the habit or how much time he devotes to it. We were roommates for years in the '90s, and the only show I remember watching regularly was "Melrose Place." Those were good times. At some point the plotlines grew too farfetched and we gave it up like a pair of OP shorts. It's better to quit while you still have a little self-respect.

Marty's last stay coincided with a "Little People, Big World" marathon. Lucky me. The featured family is surprisingly ordinary except for being dwarfs. And ordinary families don't make for riveting entertainment. Even their dysfunction is fairly mundane.

Last night's feature was "627 Lb. Woman: Jackie's Story." The subject seeks bariatric surgery, which requires leaving her home for the first time in a year and a half. Now, this was a story I could sink my teeth into -- even as I sank them into the stack of cookies in my lap. Marty was mesmerized, eating Ben & Jerry's straight from the carton.

So thoroughly did we empathize with Jackie that we were too spent to fully bond with her successor. "Half Body: A Woman's Courage" introduced us to Rose, whose malformed spine leaves her with a virtually useless lower body. Naturally, she wanted to have a baby. Yet adoption, a seemingly logical solution, was apparently either unfamiliar or unappealing. We didn't last long enough to find out how she fared.

Marty will be back any minute, and I haven't had the courage to peruse tonight's listings. He checked in this afternoon, saying: "I hope there's something on about hermaphrodites."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You should not miss the Half-Ton Man and FYI Rose does have a baby to deal with in addition to her vaguely retarded brother and father who seems to have dementia. She can really fly on her skate board... And she thinks it is a good idea to reproduce, think of the gene pool lady!

Anonymous said...

Nothing goes better with Melrose Place than a nice white russian.

Mykljak said...

Especially if his name is Ivan or Sergei.